Here's an example of BAD WRITING (as if there's not enough of it already on the web)...

The bottle was iffy in a crazy sort of way. Plastic, like all the others, but big and not nearly as translucent as it had expected to be. Very silly of me to think that it actually cares, it’s just a 1.5 liter bottle of Aquafina.

Why am I drinking it? Why did I buy it, it’s more expensive than the others? I bought it on the way to the track, and I had stocked up on caffeine and sugar, and thought I should probably get something to drink at the track…duh? So, only a liter and a half for a dusty day riding motocross in the sun and heat. Hmmm, good thinking.

But the bottle’s here now, more than a week, no, almost a week later and still almost half full. Big time drinker, ain’t I? Well, now, after a few days in the fridge, the temp is just about as cool as when I first purchased it, and the taste…just like cold water. Wow.

But why this brand…because of the writing on the label, “Purity Guaranteed”…what the heck does that mean? "We assure you, sir, it’s purely water!!"

Moving to California, I was floored that we were expected to purchase water to drink. My life had not prepared me for that. But as goes California, so goes the nation, or something like that, ‘cause my mother will only drink bottled water in D.C. now…hmmm.

I love it. Buck a gallon or more, get your fresh drinking water, ‘cause the shit coming out of your faucet ain’t no good no mo’. Might as well drink your own piss. But this bottled shit, wellllll, it’s SO GOOD…AND GOOD FOR YOU, TOO!! Why, you need to hydrate more…drink a gallon a day, piss your fat away. Who makes up this stuff? The water industry?

And the water industry, where, exactly, are they getting this stuff they’re selling? From the earth, from the sky, from where it’s supposed to be FREE? Stuff I have every right to, but I just can’t bottle it in tres cool decanters and adorn it with risqué labels, and ship it right to your door, in 5 gallon jugs that the neighborhood tomcat pisses on when you’re at work.

More later....
Paul